Daydream In That Small Town
by emo-geek-87
Summary: Kurt loses some he loves. SLASH.


Title: Daydream In That Small Town

Author:emo_chick_87

Pairing,Character(s): Kurt/Puck, Burt

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2500ish words

Spoilers: Season One.

Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Character Death.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Or the John Mellencamp song, iSmall Town/i.

AN: Written for this month's Diva Off. I picked the challenge prompt.

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When he first sees the twisted black phone cord the only think he really thinks, is that he didn't know they even still made phones that requires those long cords.

He doesn't register the tense hush that drapes Ms. Pillsbury's office. Doesn't even really think about the fact he got called down there in the first place. Doesn't realize just how much this moment is going to be responsible for and he doesn't even really know that all his life was leading to that moment. He doesn't know that when it's hardest for him to cope, the only thing that will describe how he feels is that phone cord. Dark, twisted, covered in a harsh spotlight that will make all the edges around him blur.

His life slams into sharp focus when Ms. Pillsbury finally walks into her office. Her one-inch heels echoing loudly, a strong astringent smell burning through his sinuses. The awkward clearing of her throat and the tight wringing of her hands tell Kurt that he better enjoy this moment because once she opens her mouth, his life is changing.

He notices her throw Mr Schue a questioning glance and it's the first time Kurt even notices he's there. Kurt knows that it really much be serious. He mentally runs through the list of things Mr Schue might need to confront him about. He really doesn't think he knows about the Rachel/mayonnaise incident, so Kurt is really at a loss.

Her soft shy voice echoes through his skin and imprints the words that will live on his soul until the day he dies. Says the thing he's been fearing most since he was six years old. Tells him that all the times he felt alone were good practice because that's what he is now. Alone.

"I don't know how to tell you this Kurt but your dad..." Her voice breaks and Kurt knows.

Mr Schue finishes where she stopped.

"I'm sorry Kurt, but he's gone." That's when he sees the tears in Mr Schue's eyes and the shake of his _'Kirk Douglas'_ chin dimple.

He just sits there. Staring at the twisted cord and wonders. He can feel their anticipation spark off his skin. They're waiting for him to break, to cry, to lose it. But he learned the last time, that is not what's needed at a time like this.

Watching his dad after he lost the love of his life taught him about the stiff upper lip, handling the affairs and only crying in the bathroom with the water running. The voice he uses when he finally finds his voice is not one he recognizes. Quietly strong. Grown up. Old.

"How did it happen?"

"They think it was an aneurysm. He was making coffee then he just held his head for a second and fell down. They said it was quick." Mr Schue's calm voice is making Kurt want to pull every hair out of his head one at a time.

"When?"

"They told Principle Figgins it was just after ten."

Kurt glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost noon. He'd been an orphan for almost two hours and had never even known it. His eyes cross and remain locked on the ticking clock. The soft hand on his forearm pulls him back just before the lunch bell rings. He looks at the foreign hand. The manicured nails, the soft palm that has probably never seen the undercarriage of the 1969 Mustang, the faded white mark around the left ring finger. All of it makes Kurt think of failure. All of it makes Kurt long for rough, strong hands and the ring that never left his father's finger.

"Can I go now?"

"Kurt, we need to talk about this."

"No, there's things to do. I need to see him. Where did they take him?"

"Lima Memorial. Do you want me to take you?"

He looks at Mr Schue with his soft features and sad smile. Shaking his head as he walks out the door.

"No. Noah will take me. I just have to find Noah."

Ms Pillsbury gives a final squeak before folding her hands on her desk and sending a grateful look at Will.

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Walking through the crowded hallway Kurt feels the edges fall away. Blurring, all he can see is the door at the end of the hall and the chance to make his escape. He can almost feel the cool spring air on his face before Finn's fingers curl around his wrist and stop him in his tracks.

"Hey buddy, what did Miss P. want? Did they find out about the Rachel thing? Kurt, what's wrong?"

It isn't until Kurt hears the frantic pitch of Finn's voice that he realizes just how out of it he is. Glancing around he sees the music room is a few feet away, offering a brief respite from the whirling thoughts. Kurt notices just how worried Finn is when he follows him in without a word.

"I'm serious, Kurt. What's wrong?"

"Finn, something bad happened but I need you to be calm, okay?"

"Fuck man. Just tell me."

"My dad died, Finn. He's gone."

Even though he knows he'd never be able to fully support Finn's weight he does try to catch him when his knees give out and send him tumbling to the floor. Loud, breaking sobs pull themselves from Finn's body and onto Kurt's crisp white slacks. Tight arms lock around his knees and Kurt places a comforting hand on the wide expanse of Finn's back.

The wailing sends a shockwave through the hall and soon every member of the glee club finds it's way into the small room. Kurt almost chuckles to himself. One of their own was in trouble and their spidey senses were tingling. Everyone is glaring at Kurt like he's the reason Finn is a sobbing mess on the bottom riser. Finn must have noticed the shift because he lifts his head off Kurt's lap and fixes the room with a grateful stare.

"Oh, thank god you guys are here. We need help." Finn's face is red, swollen and covered in tears. He gives a loud sniff before continuing. "Burt died, you guys. He's dead."

The group circles them both in a hug and Kurt has never felt more suffocated. Noah's worried eyes catch his from across the room and he reaches his hand towards Kurt. It's surprisingly easy for Kurt to extricate himself from the group hug.

Noah laces their fingers together and walks Kurt out into the sunshine. He takes Kurt's keys out of his shaky hand and drives him to the hospital. 

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Mrs Puckerman is a nurse in the emergency room. She takes him into an exam room and explains to him all about what happened. Tells him that it probably was really fast and relatively painless. Her soft calming voice reminds him of family and for a brief moment jealously rushes through his veins. Noah waiting patiently outside the glass door. When he tells her he's ready, she takes him to see his father.

His strong hands are laying limp at his side and one of them is peeking out from under the white sheet. Mrs Puckerman pulls down the white sheet and he sees his father's face. Lips, slack and motionless. Eyelashes resting heavy against his cheek. He stands there and stares for awhile. Memorizes every feature of his dad's face before he has to say goodbye forever and silently wishes that the lips would quirk into a smile one last time. When Kurt sees the still white chest he knows for sure that his dad is gone.

He leans over and kisses him. First on both cheeks and then on the space where his heart used to beat. He remembers what his father always told him about a time like this. Looking down at the still motionless hand, he fulfills his father's last request. Slipping the gold wedding ring off is harder than Kurt thought it would be. Almost as if it knew it wasn't meant to leave its owner yet. That all this happened too soon. The gold is cold in his hand and he wishes for warmth. One last look and Mrs Puckerman is leading him out into the hall.

Her hands smell slightly of the latex gloves she has to wear but her hand is warm when it rests on his cheek. He thanks her for everything she's done. She tells him that he's part of the Puckerman family and they always take care of their own. For the first time since this whole thing started, Kurt smiles.

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When him and Noah push through the front door, Carole is waiting for them. Her tear-stained face tell him she already knows. He comforts her the best he can before excusing himself to call his dad's lawyer.

By the end of the business day the ball is rolling. Burt Hummel was a man that planned for every eventuality. It's a Tuesday and Kurt will bury his father on a Friday.

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Noah is a silent presence that Kurt draws strength from. Noah is the only one that doesn't try and make him talk about it. They are always palm to palm when they fall asleep and Kurt is always tucked protectively under Noah's arm when they wake up. Noah doesn't tell Kurt about the fact he cries in his sleep. That the sorrow he holds so tightly throughout the day flows out of him and into Noah in the darkness.

Whimpered cries of _daddy_ tear through Noah's chest. Holding Kurt's shaking body in his arms, Noah finally realizes what real love feels like. It's the most glorious, painful, awe-inspiring thing he's ever felt and it's the thing that makes him worry about the fact Kurt hasn't cried when he's awake.

Friday morning is the first time Noah wakes up to a cold bed. He can hear the hum of people upstairs and the pounding of running water coming from Kurt's bathroom. When he ventures up for a cup of coffee he wishes he didn't. Burt's sister Mildred is swaying in front of the coffee pot, spouting random stories about her baby brother. She's trying to show Noah the scar that she got when she was playing cops and robbers with Burt in the backyard when Kurt appears in the doorway.

His crisp black suit is stiff and the collar of his plum shirt is rubbing awkwardly on his neck. He gives Noah a quick nod and heads back downstairs. While Kurt is folding an elegant double windsor knot into the ruby tie around Noah's neck, he realizes that this is the first time he's ever tied someone else's tie.

He remembers the day his mother was buried. Burt's large hands fumbling around his neck, trying to distract from the fact his hands were shaking. In his mind he can still see the sloppy knot that his dad looked so proud of. See the smiling face that was hiding so many tears. He almost cries then. Looking in Noah's soft brown eyes, he thinks he could find comfort. The bustle of people upstairs tell him that now is not the time. Lacing their fingers together Kurt and Noah face the worst day of their lives.

The service itself was a lot like his father. Quiet, powerful and comforting. Kurt saw love behind everyone's tears and was grateful that he wasn't the only one that loved Burt Hummel. Kurt's body shook as he saw the varnished wood of the casket. From his seat in the front row, he could see the stained-glass angels reflecting off the smooth surface. The guys from the garage lift his father onto their shoulders and carry him out into the sun.

The lip around the grave was protected by a small layer of plywood. The cheap wood cracked under his shoes and he glanced around to see the fine points of high heels collapsing into the soft ground.

Mercedes sang _Amazing Grace_ and Mrs Puckerman stood behind him. Ready to catch him at any moment.

He stood strong as everyone quietly laid their single rose on the face of the coffin. He stood strong as every shook his hand and gave them their condolences. He stood strong when Noah kissed his neck after everyone else had gone back to the house. He stood strong when Noah went to wait for him in the car. He stood strong as his father's body was lowered into the ground next to his wife. He stood strong as earth covered wood and he actually had to say goodbye. He stood strong until the sunset painted the sky. He stood strong and he made his father proud. 

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After everyone had left and silence settled though out the house, Kurt felt himself unravel. Noah was sitting with his legs crossed on the bed. His eyes carefully tracking Kurt's every move. With each stiff article of clothing falling to the ground, Noah can see the shell cracking.

When Kurt climbs on the bed to sit across from him he sees what's around Kurt's neck. A long gold chain holds two rings and rests almost parallel with Kurt's heart. With John Mellencamp whispering from the sound system, Kurt tells Noah what has been haunting him.

"They said it happened at 10:14 in the morning. Do you know what I was doing then?"

"Third period, right? Spanish?"

"Yeah. I was conjugating verbs. My dad was dying and I was conjugating _fucking_ verbs."

Kurt's face screws up like he's just tasted something sour before he crumbles into Noah's arms. While Kurt cries in his arms, Noah thinks about the future.

He thinks about the day they leave this small town, headed for bigger and better things. He thinks about the day that it doesn't hurt for Kurt to think about his dad. He thinks about saying goodbye to his mother the way Kurt had to say goodbye to Burt. He thinks about telling his son or daughter about their Grandpa Hummel and how much they wish they could have met him. He thinks about this and just holds onto Kurt tighter.

Burt Hummel did a damn good job protecting Kurt from the world. Now that he's gone, it's Noah's turn.

_Well I was born in a small town  
And I can breathe in a small town  
Gonna die in this small town  
And that's prob'ly where they'll bury me_


End file.
